Wednesday's Musings

Wednesdays bring about a bit of random. 

Locals keep telling me that we are having an off spring.  It is not normally this overcast or rainy.  That is what they kept saying this winter as well.  Color me not fooled.  As long as it is not freezing and I don't have to shovel my walkway, all is good in my world.  Yes, it is a huge change from sun-drenched San Diego.  However, the change brings optimism in odd ways.  Your body and mind get some time to reset.  Nights are perfect for crackling fires and cuddling with sweethearts.  Plus when the clouds part, it does feel like everything is renewing.  Flowers trace the path of my daily dog walks, and can be enjoyed with a daily dose of claritin.  I haven't had to touch the roses in our backyard (major bonus for my black thumb) and yet, they continue to bloom.  Our orange trees are bountiful, almost too much so. There is magic in this soil.  Hopefully, whatever house we buy has the same magic.  Or comes with a gardener. 


I am finally not 'fat.'  I'm talking about those weekly pictures you see almost every pregnant woman take. Yes, I took them.  No, I did not like them.  I shared them with friends.  Everyone made the nice comments about how great I looked.  Blah, blah, blah was all I heard.  I just saw my previously tight abs disappearing.  I understand that pregnancy is a wonderful thing.  I know that I am so ridiculously lucky to be where I am at.  However, all of this knowing and understanding did not help me about feeling fat.  I joked that I looked like I got married and let myself go.  Really, I was insecure.  Am I really this vain?  Am I really this tied to the way I look?  Apparently so.  Then last night happened.  My husband took his regular role as photographer and I stripped down to my sports bra.  For once, I looked at the pictures and smiled.  Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I have finally started feeling the baby in the last week.  Maybe it has something to do with the fact that my belly is actually protruding out.  Whatever it is, THANK YOU.  Here I am, 19 weeks and counting.  Grow baby, grow.  

*Sidenote:  Huge bonus of getting 'fat' ~ my boobs are bigger than I ever thought they would be.  They are going to give me the best cleavage ever this weekend.